063. Passive.


Sometimes, I realy hate digital cameras. Film can’t be looked through, then erased based on ‘eww, I look nasty’. You get the good and the bad. And if you rip it up? I have the negitives.

Next time, I won’t be so sleepy. And every picture I take, flattering or not, will stay on my camera. I won’t show it to everyone. If it’s really that bad, I’ll delete it myself. But you are deleteing moments I took the time to shoot. And it pisses me off that out of hundreds of pictures, there are only 129 left. Some of the ones deleted I really liked. I shrugged, and let it happen, saying if I didn’t look at the pictures I wouldn’t know what I was missing.

Lies. I may not remember the pictures, but I relize that the entire album is just a sanitized look-pretty mess. To an extent, that’s fine. But we all look fat, rediculous, or strange at some point. Editing the pictures wn’t edit reality.

I am going with it this time because I didn’t speak up soon enough. Next time, however, I won’t let you so much as touch my fucking camera. Any of you. I have fun with you guys. But this is getting rediculous. Little things are pissing me off, and some of it is unfair. Some of it is entirely overdue.

Most days, when people ask me if I like you guys, I say “of course”, and defend virtues. Depending on the day, that answer is starting to change. I like you guys, yes, but things are pissing me the fuck off.

And? Mock my friends, my close friends of years and years, and I will be pissed. Don’t expect otherwise. It doesn’t matter if I’m pissed at them too- I’ve known them longer and shared closer experiences.

Now I need angry music.


8 Responses to “063. Passive.”

  1. 1 raalla

    you can have my achy-breaky angry music playlist if you want. it helps, but in this situation it might need modification.

  2. 2 Pip

    Murr. That would be nice! Currently, it’s a medley of System of a Down and A Perfect Circle. When I get really angry, it veers into KoRn and Iced Earth. Not that I have much metal! Nooo, none at all… *whistles*

  3. 3 raalla

    hahaha oh pip.
    4 months….

  4. 4 Pip

    I know. It will be AMAZING

  5. 5 katling

    Angry music always helps…plus nerf bats. I’m not really sure what to say; I can only say that sometimes even if a person doesn’t look pretty, they will look true, and that can be even better. Sometimes a true picture of someone is a better way to remember a moment than a posed-look-good-shot. *rambles on in head*

    Sadly, I can only send you opera as angry music (hey, it’s Verdi!)

  6. 6 bylandl

    In terms of angry opera, Wagner trumps Verdi trumps Glass trumps Mozart.

    Done and done.

    You don’t hate me, do you?


  7. 7 Pip


    Hahaha, my angry classical is Night on Bald Mountain.

  8. 8 katling

    Ooh, Wanger; always a bundle of laughs, isn’t he? *grins* I’ve always associated him with more “staying-awake-all-night-due-to-studying”, but angry works well too. :) But Verdi…man, could the guy write great chorus parts! Some of his plots though….*winces*

    Gah…so many choices….

    *is labeled an opera geek*

    Oh, night on Bald mountain! I should put that on…. :D

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