081. alas, alas.


Monday. Concert. Over. Tuesday. Cuddles, friends, love and Iron Man! Wednesday. Birthday of my not-blood Aunt. Leftover salmon. Window-waving. Procrastinating. Thursday. Future. Oral Presentation. Rough draft due. Inclusive choir thinger. Friday. Future. Demon’s movie night. Saturday. Future. Viv’s? Sunday. Future. Athens’s concert. Organ and another choir. What of the night.

A week of my life.

The concert went okay. My favorite parts had to be the comments we were trading back and forth in the audience. And Wild Mountain Thyme- it turned out way prettier than I’d been led to believe. Also, Mr. Smith bursting into Rubber Duckie, complete with Mike on ukulele, Aidan on bass. Even if Mr. Smith seems to think he’s Ray Charles, it was great fun.

Of our own pieces, we sucked balls on pitch for our last song. Not the fault of soloist, just a retarded song. The only songs that showed a quarter of our capabilities were “Ride the Chariot” and “All Flesh is Grass”. The latter being my favorite. The rest, meh.

Throughout the concert, I kept glancing a to the seat beside me, separated by the aisle. In it was the twenty-some year old girl, super-senior of a few years. The reason she dropped again this year was bouncing on her lap, fussing and being a new baby. Whatever else I did, I made sure of one thing- I smiled at her, if she looked at me.

She is one of those girls who isn’t smart enough to graduate. She is huge- while still at school, it was impossible to tell she was pregnant. Yet, all I could do was watch her fumble with her baby, kissing the top of it’s head and murmuring quiet words, and hope life could be a bit kind. The lines carved into her face make her look thirty. The way she handled the baby, carefully, cluelessly, lovingly, made me wish her well.

She is everything I never want to be, and everything I hate about people. But she smiled back as she patted the baby’s back, trying to listen to the chorus she used to be in. It didn’t really matter that they all disliked her, and she was tonedeaf. She came to their concert.

Iron man was amazing. Stay until after the motherfuckin’ credits. Hanging out with boy and with friends beforehand was beyond any words I can muster. Murr.

School is almost over …if I do my oral presentation, damnit.


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