1o4. grounded in kindless and karma.


There is goodness in the world, some force that melds the lives of people together in strange, beautiful, terrifying ways.

I broke. There was so much mindless posturing and why was I there? Caught, I had to leave, get out. I asked for a pass for the nurse, from the sub. I walked out the front door and kept walking. I’ve done this before. I’ll do it again. I break down and I have no idea why, and walking helps. Getting out helps.

It’s drizzling, the light light rain of windy mist. I walk. I walk. I cut through some deer paths. I haven’t been able to stop coughing all day, the hollow chest-rattle that burns drying throats and sends fire deep deep, shaking with the force.

I toy with the idea of hitchhiking. I hurt, hurt and don’t want to walk. Getting close to the Wal-Mart. Not long now, I tell myself. It’ll only take another half-hour, mebbe an hour, walk fast.

A car pulls up beside me. I look. There is the mother of my soul-sister. “Get in!” She took this route by chance, and saw me. She scolds me for walking in the rain sick. Things at her house are some improved, mostly not, but here she is, bravely going on, smiling and laughing. How can one woman embody such strength? She drops me off at my house, and we hug and say goodbye, a promise to call and visit. I may just believe in God now. Or some innate, good force.

Yesterday was incredible. A library-downtown run, celebrating firefly boy’s birthday. Our pimp (my other soul sister) he and I ate Chinese, hung out at coffee shops, and had immense fun. I fell asleep feeling like the most loved person in existence, and slept well.

(The sickness and bad-school are nothing, compared to these blessings)


One Response to “1o4. grounded in kindless and karma.”

  1. 1 Katling

    *sends extra spicy-good karma* (It’s like kimchee!)

    Sometimes the universe smiles….:)

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