1o7. i made that up in my head and it’s true.

07Oct08

a list.

People:
Write Letters (for mental health as well as social)
Contact Friends for get-togethers.
(lol, but there’s no time for that)
(make time, dumbass)
Figure out dates of shit (demon on friday, going to Syracuse when?, ect)
Call firefly boy so I don’t breakdown. But not this late, that’s mean to his mom

School:
Study for inclass assessments in HoA
get info on total war
read the texts
Hamlet journals
SUPA credit, apply for
Soci work on cliques in schools and prisons
Sketchbook for basket weaving
scholarships.
Look. At. Fucking. Colleges.
Don’t bother with national honors society, you won’t get into college anyways.

Music:
study the Vita whatever thing
Betehlauuumuuuuarg.
Makes sure Silver Swan gets taught
don’t scream, you like occidentals.
nags sops about blend (fat chance this’ll work)
try not to kill tenors
teach mal all our parts and try not to look smug at alto supremacy.

Work:
Try to stress that working more than once on weekdays kills me. 5-9. Four hours, after tired tiredness. Typically, straight from tech. I am weak, and can only do this one day a week.

Tech:
Um. Get dates?
Box office tickets sales start when?
Props
actually look at the script, see what’s up.

Remember:
water the plants
-bamboo
-mint
feed the animals
-dog
-cat
-walkingsticks
-seamonkies
handle the bugs.

If at home for more than two hours:
Walk dog.
laundry
change sheets
pickup the room. just a bit.

If stuck somewhere and unable to accomplish anything:
Knit.
If no knitting:
Write.
If no writing:
play on the gameboy! See, see, life is still fun! Really. really? promise.
If no gameboy:
sleep.

I started crying at the desk, as my father told me my sister was possibly going to leave tomorrow. I have seen her for maybe an hour, during dinner and conversation. We watched some TV. I miss my sister. I told her she wasn’t allowed, I haven’t given her the scarf I knit her yet.

Breakdown in composure number two happened in the car, when I realized I didn’t know how to drive, didn’t know what colleges to look at, didn’t have a clue about majors. My college fund was cut roughly in half by the stock-drop, and I haven’t looked at scholarships yet. I have not had the time to. In class from 8-3, in tech from 3-5. And, Monday Tuesday Wednesday of this week, at work from 5-9. I cannot do another three-workday week. Weekends, fine. I do Sundays anyway. Not during the week, Wednesday is enough.

I can’t speak nicely, I can barely type a coherent list. I am bad at life. Once college shit is done things will be easier, once the play is moving and done, once once once.

I promised I’d write. I didn’t lie, the truth is being delayed, she protested. The president, bless her heart, shot the moose that killed out president, long live the president, and his ghost is being quite Shakespearean honest, pointing out the poisoned ear, the false serpent story. My uncle talks about a rat killing the little puppy he kept in vietnam, and him shooting the rat up and screaming at it, rousing the whole base because they though vietcong had gotten in and shot Joe, but it was just rats killing his canine companion. You can’t ‘befriend an animal’ though, it’s a court-martial offense now. No more snake stories, I promise little one. Go eat your hardtack and scrounge up some cardboard, the roof’s getting thin.

Today’s title is brought to you by a frustrated little boy, coloring in his book and babbling at his mother.

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2 Responses to “1o7. i made that up in my head and it’s true.”

  1. 1 caryatid child

    oh gosh.

    I don’t know what to say, so I’ll go with: I know you know that I understand or can come close, and empathize or sympathize as the case may be.

    You CAN do it.

  2. 2 Katling

    *hugs*

    Pippin, if it’s any help, I got through it with my brain nearly intact. YOU WILL SURVIVE :)


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