162. shaking a bit.


Hopefully it’s just dramawhoring on his part. Triggerwarner. I just got tagged in a suicide note on facebook. Kinda trembling. Barely know the kid- we had classes together two years ago. Took advil/ibuprofen, apparently 240. Hopefully not fatal. I hopeIhope. Tracked down his home number and called. Think I woke up his mom. Hope so. Hope she starts asking questions. What if he’s desperate enough to hurt himself even more if I call back? How will he react if I call his mom? Asked him wtf. He just said sorry, he already took them.

Night was fantabulous til I rolled over to update my facebook thing. to reflect all the giggling we did, chapter one of my lifestory, ten minute giggle fest. pilaf and scruffy. Am now trembling hard and only morning will show if I’ll be glad I checked my email or pissed or fucked. I tried. I called. I didn’t know him. That’s no excuse. Should I call and tell his mom? Should I assume she’ll ask? I don’t know. I haven’t seen the kid in two years, I don’t know him or if this was one of a long line or what. I don’t know if he’ll be passive or even violent, totally out of his nature.

Gonna go curl up and  cry.

ETA: Fuck this we called 911. I have no idea where I would be without you Trev. He’s talking to them, I’m twitching and shaking. 4:45.

ETA2: They are handling it, will give them the messages, they have his home number, in their hands now. Just. Fuck. And I work today. It’s 5:17.

ETA3: Noon. Slept. We dropped the papers off at the ER. He was apparently cooperative in the ambulance. Dad drove us. He saw the kid’s mom, in the waiting room, trying to be strong. He asked her if she needed a hug and she did. We hugged her too.

The comments on his suicide note were heartening- the girl who saw it first called the local police too. They told her he was picked up this morning and in the ER, and every comment after that was “Thank god”. She would have called a little more than five hours it after it happened. It’s a miracle we were still up that early/late, that I happened to get on the computer twenty minutes after he did it, that Boy thought to call authorities after we failed.

Hopefully he’ll be okay.

EDIT, end of summer. He tried to commit suicide twice more after this. Once by hanging (talked down), once by jumping off a bridge (water too shallow). Just. Sad.


3 Responses to “162. shaking a bit.”

  1. 1 Lindsey


    Do I know this boy?

  2. 2 Rachel

    Michelle made me aware of this. Any idea how things turned out?

  3. 3 Pip

    Lindz, I dunno. Don’t think so.
    Rachel, he’s fine now, in serious therapy.

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