The stories need to be told, and there’s never anything you can do to change the past. Just the future.


This morning, I walked to class, laughing and facepalming about a certain someone’s actions. They didn’t bug me much, though I couldn’t stop shaking my head. Off to Race and Sexuality! A thought-provoking class with discussion about things serious and not, with a lot of reading and a lot of knowledge. Today, a documentary about the history of race and stereotypes in America.

Of course. Every bad day has to be followed by a lesson on genocide, lynchings, and/or humanity’s general hatred and murderous intent towards fellow man. And everytime, I can’t help shaking, trying not to rage or sob and just sit quietly, taking notes.

Why the fuck must we, as a species, be so cruel to fellow man? Demonizing and dehumanizing and fucking over. And I’m already shaking with rage by the time they show the cartoons of the forties. The documentary continues, with the caricatures interspersed with real photographs of real people. And from there, the happy Sambo music hand in hand with the photographs of people burned. Lynched. The dead and the smiling faces of the real fucking demons, the men so happy at death. I don’t quite know how I managed to get back to my dorm without hitting something, or collapsing in tears.

I’m not sleeping tonight. I will never understand how people can so ruthlessly kill one another for having a different skin tone, for loving the same gender, for any of a million and one stupid reasons. Just. Fuck this shit. I don’t quite want to be human right now.

Edit. And this day was going better until it got worse. Isn’t that the way it goes? Still can’t get dead human beings out of my head, and now have shaking rage to deal with. At least I passed the German quiz.

Also, note. I am not upset with my teacher for showing that documentary. Because it needs to be hammered into heads. Real people died. In America, during lynchings and more. In the Holocaust. In the real fucking wars going on right fucking now. Lives are being taken for the most pointless of reasons (and isn’t nearly every reason to take a life pointless?). Not movie characters. Not fakery. Real. Deny that and deny the values of their lives.


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