and then it all burned down


duplicity and importance. A call from home was possibly the best part of the day, closely followed by the tense breath of a storm.

Other than that, I have this pleasant urge to destroy something, a neat leaf-pile or any and all of the friendships I’ve made here, and smile cheerfully. I will be calm and cheerful and leave my room to socialize. Promise! I’ll even study.

But I can’t stop destructive urges. And they are often and unbearable. My dreams are covered in oaths and roads and journeys and highways, green fields and train tracks and this wonderful naivety, childlike innocence that isn’t real but I could drown in.

I want to sing, to you. And happiness. Don’t be so blue, so blue. This too shall pass.

(and all the best things are missing now)


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