depth. it’s a deep word.

21Nov09

Dreams are becoming more irregular and car-crashy, but with a new holiday feel. We were walking, up this snowy snowy hill, but there was a road on top. And occasionally the cars would rain down the hill, crashing and freezing, and four of us walked and talked about that time in the icy parkinglot, and I shyly tried to convey how happy I was that it was amazing that we were friends again. We all grinned, and kept playing in the snow, dodging cars and cheering when one mini-van managed to make it back up. And there was a hidden bear-route through the trees, and testers at a massage salon that was somehow corrupt. Then there was a huge valley, and if you kept driving up and up it was my aunt’s house, until the dreams shift and it’s a game preserve for a rare seal and nessie. And the wolves were in the forest, simply watching.

The weirdest bit was how genuinely happy I was waking up, this stupidity was over and we were all friends again. I honestly thought I didn’t miss her. I guess, after the anger has faded, I can say yeah. There was something nice there. I miss her. Should she want to be friends, I would be pleased.

I have only one connection that I don’t regret breaking. She said the unforgivable, and no matter how much she may have grown up, she broke the vase. The others? I regret their fading, and wish fondly for the best.

Reoccurring things in my dreams: huge hills, grassy or tree-covered, snowy. wolves. country roads. highways. valleys and canyons with rivers. car crashes. water, diving and bridges. cities by the sea. certain buildings. people I know and barely know. Random slice-of-life that I can never tell apart from memories. conversations that I wished happened. schools with weird theater departments and a dragon. scent and touch, hell, full sensory details.

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