have you ever been acutely aware of your senses?


you can see the movement of lights and the distance of smoke and the way the wind is blowing, the colors behind your eyes and a the rainbow in the lightbulb? The sensations and textures of fabric and skin and heat and cold and the way that flavours dance on the tongue? and music. goodness, sounds.

it’s really gentle. it’s stuff I’d notice without any help, but it’s all so vivid and wonderful and soft, so peaceful and silky.

it’s realizing how much energy you have after devouring coffee, feeling it course through your veins and wanting to run and dance. and the way fruit juice bursts in your mouth, with smooth dark rich lovely of sorbet.

the feeling isn’t as pronounced as it was while we were eating, but it’s still around. And it’s there in normal moments too, catching an elusive scent and recognizing it, hearing a song and being able to sing the next bit, neatly side stepping an obsticle you didn’t see, so much more. Being aware. Of how I feel and the world around me.

It’s hugging someone and actually feeling the tension leave your body, their body.

I deeply wish I had words for the way I feel right now, in tune in key.

it’s a combination, I guess. Of the painkillers and sadness and awareness of my own life. I won’t use them tomorrow unless I hurt badly, because I’m aware of the addict factor. But I can’t deny how nice it is to be in this mindset.


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