239. This is in part a letter to myself

03Jul11

Somedays I just have the urge to kick people who have the ‘suck it up’ mentality. That approach can work, yeah, if you only let people into your life who can do exactly that but. Do not tell someone to ‘suck it up’ when they actually cannot. When they are too bruised and battered and lost to even begin being able to function, ‘suck it up’ will never work and honestly, just go. You don’t deserve to have the good things their presence gives you if you tell people with actual problems to ‘suck it up’

People are different and if you chose to let someone into your life or have no choice in the matter, people are different. Maybe you can disconnect from a situation but they cannot, and it is unfair to try and push the way you think, the way you are on someone else. If you want someone in your life and someone important to them is in a place where they cannot handle, can hurt themselves through knowledge or circumstances…

I am the one who has made the choice to let them into my life, and I am the one who needs to realize how much this person is depended on by another. I cannot fucking blame them for the fact that another person in dependent on them. I cannot begrudge them for limiting information to this person, even at the momentary cost of a facet of our relationship. I chose to be his person, and with that comes his ties and responsibilities, and to ignore the weight of that or belittle is just. Purely unfair and wrong

This is vague but really it is just to get it out of my system.

Bluh.

Gonna go clean and not think.

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