Archive for the ‘Catagory’ Category

The woman I admire most in the world wakes herself up screaming, at least once a week. She sleeps less than four hours a night. I never ask about her trauma, and she carries on like it doesn’t exist, carries the weight of the world lightly. Advertisements


14Sep11

Spoke with a friend for 43 minutes and she let me bitch and bitch and grr and whine, and guh. How anyone has such patience with me is impossible to understand. I feel a million times lighter, grounded and less caught up in the rah rah rage-mush. Thanks, Cat


Or rather, I start listening to a radio program, and slowly surely I get distracted and start reading to the low hum of voices. Usually NPR programs that have been heard before, or an interview that isn’t catching my attention. It’s a quiet moment where no one is in the same state, and I am […]


Somedays I just have the urge to kick people who have the ‘suck it up’ mentality. That approach can work, yeah, if you only let people into your life who can do exactly that but. Do not tell someone to ‘suck it up’ when they actually cannot. When they are too bruised and battered and […]


238.

30Jun11

I told my person some potentially deal- breaker news, because fuck he wants a family too and what if I can’t give him one? And he just. Held me.  For an hour. ten minutes just clutching him when he came in, without needing an explanation. When I spat it out sometime later he just pulled […]


Because she is herself,  because her palm, her fingers, her skin is soft and whenever we’re together we hold hands and bump heads,  and generally reach out and touch one another. She is the one who I started kissing on the forehead first, because it was impossible not to adore her. We have this odd […]


there will come soft rains, and the drizzle is slow and steady. there is communication and love and change, tomorrow tomorrow like a drum, but right now, sing me to sleep, slow and steady and sure.


and maybe that’s why there was so many nightmares and panic attacks. But I’m ready, I suppose. To make my schoolwork my bitch. To be a better friend. To be a better lover. To better myself in a shitton of ways. Write more letters. Actually take the time and correct/relearn penmenship Everything turned in on […]


what the hell. shaking and sobbing hysterically. Like an infant, screaming and I didn’t know why I couldn’t control my limbs but I physically could not. I was paralyzed with fear and my mouth kept making these inhuman noises and I. I don’t know what just happened.


I will not post angsty shit where anyone can see it, oh no.